So last month I went to Cedar Rapids for the Iowa Women’s
Leadership conference, where the key note speaker was Carly Fiorina. Like many
politicians, Fiorina has been spending a lot of time in Iowa lately, and even
though at that point she hadn’t yet officially announced her presidential bid,
she wasn’t going to waste a speaking opportunity in this coveted state.
But I didn’t go to the conference because of her. I went
because my cousin-in-law Robin, who is a two time reality TV star and small
business owner, was also scheduled to be speaking about personal journeys,
which was the conference’s theme.
“You have to help me,” Robin had demanded, when was first
asked to speak.
“What are you talking about?” I replied. “You’re the superstar.
I’m sure you’re a much better speaker than I am.”
“Nope. All I do is let cameras follow me around. I don’t
plan what I’m going to say and I don’t have to say it front a group of people
who are waiting for some deep, life changing message to come out of my mouth.
That’s your territory.”
Even though I doubt that my community college students expect
life changing messages from my lectures (and they’re disappointed if they are),
I still agreed to help her and I also signed up to attend the conference so I
could be there to cheer her on. It was fun. We drove down together and we went
around to the various speakers, where we also got to know some of the other
women who attended.
One woman, named Rachel, cuts hair at a national chain store
but she dreams of moving up the ladder and managing her own salon. “I got no
maternity leave when I had my kids, and they won’t give me a set schedule, so
childcare is hard to arrange, and they pay me basically minimum wage. As a
single mother that’s really hard.”
So Rachel was excited to hear Carly Fiorina’s key note
address, where she talked about how she went from secretary to the first female executive of a Fortune 500 company. I’ve heard lots of “choice feminists” support
Carly Fiorina, and the idea that feminism has changed with the times. After
all, everybody is free to choose their own path, and having a choice is always empowering.
It’s not the system that needs to be changed;
it’s how we work within it.
“Anyone who wants to harness the full power of human
potential, of both men and women, needs to focus on building a meritocracy,” Fiorina
said in her speech. “…a true meritocracy where people are recognized, paid and
promoted, not on how long they’ve been there, but what they produced – women will
rise to the top – not because women are better than men, but because they have
half the human potential.”
This is how she explains away our need to establish rules
for equal pay. If we just focus solely on performance, there will be no need
for employee protection.
But here’s how I see it: In the eighties, some feminists took offense
when men would open the door for them or pull out their chair. Women worried
about the implication, that they were incapable of opening the door on their
own.
But now, politicians are equating that idea with the idea
that some women, like Rachel, actually need real help. We’re not turning Rachel
into a victim by giving her equal pay, or maternity leave, or the opportunity to
advance in her career, and the insult isn’t the offer of help, it’s our refusal
to see that because we still work in a patriarchal system, some women need it.
So yeah, I wasn’t the louder applauder at Fiorina’s speech.
The same can’t be said at Robin’s speech, though. She was so nervous before she
went on; she kept biting her lip and rubbing her hands against her dress, which
was light blue, sleeveless with a gathered skirt, and painted with a pastel map
of the world.
“The dress is cheesy, isn’t it?” Robin glared at her reflection
back stage, and she looked panicky and pale.
“Not at all. It represents what you do and who you are.” I
placed calming hands on her shoulders. “Don’t worry. Just go out there and be
yourself. You’ll be great.”
Then I left her so I could take my place in the audience.
Soon Robin came out and stood at her podium, and while she started out shaky,
her confidence only grew and by the end she had commanded the room.
“I am not shy about admitting to my mistakes,” she said. “I’ve
made a lot of them. But when you mess up on national television, the world
responds in one of two ways. They either love you or hate you for it. I’ve
experienced both. And now, it is my goal to let my missteps empower me, to love
myself for all my flaws and foibles. Life is difficult enough anyway, why not
forgive ourselves? It could be the first step toward forgiving each other, and
then maybe, we can give and receive the help that everyone, at some point, needs.”
****
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